Acquired
by AonoRunic
Summary: "Loki, you can't steal babies just because Tony won't impregnate you," Pepper explained calmly.


There were not many things that could faze Pepper Potts. One of her lovers was Iron Man, the other an alien god of mischief and lies; not to mention she herself faced down super villains and board members (which were close to enough to the same thing) on a constant basis. No, Pepper Potts was not a woman easily surprised, but when the elevator doors opened on Tony holding a baby and arguing with Loki, she was stopped in her tracks.

"Damn it!" Tony shouted at Loki, currently in her unfairly stunning female form. "You can't just steal a baby!"

"I did not steal him," Loki countered. "I acquired him."

"That's the same thing!" If Tony's hands were not occupied already with holding the, apparently stolen, baby, Pepper could quite clearly picture him tearing on his hair in frustration.

"What is going on?" Pepper asked, taking off her high heels as she exited the elevator and stepped into their shared living space. "Tell me you didn't actually steal a baby."

Loki sighed dramatically and crossed her arms over her chest, and impressive feat considering how large she insisted on making it. "Acquired," she corrected.

"She got upset when I wouldn't impregnate her, and the next thing I know I'm having a stolen child shoved in my face!" Tony explained quickly, looking at Pepper with pleading eyes.

"Loki, you can't steal babies just because Tony won't impregnate you," Pepper explained calmly.

"Acquired," Loki stressed. "And I would not have had to resort to involving an actual child if he would have at least agreed to talk about it." Loki turned to glare at Tony, who held the baby closer to himself like a shield.

"Loki, we fight super villains on a daily basis. Pepper's been kidnapped and experimented on before. We don't exactly lead the type of life conducive to raising a child." Despite addressing Loki, Tony was staring down at the baby's face. Pepper could see him trying to hide a smile as the baby giggled and reached for his beard. Without even really thinking about it, Tony leaned down to let the baby press his palms against the facial hair, causing the baby squealing happily when Tony wiggled his chin.

"Do you think me unable to protect my own?" Loki demanded, less bite in the question than Pepper would have expected.

"You're going to play full time baby sitter?" Tony shot right back. "Look, I'm not saying I'm against the idea of having kids. I'm just not going to bring one into this world without knowing I can keep it safe."

"Well, you are a genius. I'm sure you can think of something," Pepper interjected, causing both her lovers to refocus their attention on her. Loki's face lit up, while Tony went slack with shock.

"Are you seriously taking her side?" Tony challenged. "Seriously?"

"No," Pepper answered. Loki went from looking like she was about to start bouncing up and down, to planning murder. "But I am saying that if it is something Loki really wants, we should discuss it; after we return the baby."

Pepper gave Loki a sharp look, clearly not amused at infant kidnapping. All it did was make Loki roll her eyes toward the ceiling. "Fine," Loki drawled, snapping her fingers.

There was a loud shout from Tony as he was suddenly knocked off his feet. Pepper hurriedly moved around the couch to check on him, only to find Tony tangled up with a certain God of Thunder. "Sister!" Thor shouted excitedly. "Did it work? Did you managed to convince Tony Stark? Are you to be a mother?"

Pepper bit her lip to keep from laughing as Tony continued to shove at Thor, who didn't even seem to feel anything. "I told you I did not steal it," Loki told them matter-of-factly, ignoring Thor's questions.

"Of course you couldn't have just said that," Tony mumbled, finally succeeding in pushing Thor far enough away that he could sit up again.

"Of course not," Loki agreed.

"All right, if we're going to do this, let's do this," Pepper said, taking control before the whole thing dissolved into another argument. "Thor, if you'll excuse us for the evening, we obviously have some very important things to discuss."

"Of course, Lady Pepper," Thor answered immediately, nodding his head in farewell and heading for the elevator. Before the doors shut behind him, Pepper managed to catch the huge grin spread across his face.

"JARVIS, would you please order us some food." They were going to be here all night, and they'd only be crabby and irritable if they were hungry.

"Any specific kind, Miss Potts?" the A.I. asked.

"Dumplings," Loki piped up, more demand than suggestion.

"Chinese is fine," Pepper agreed. "As for you two, arguments presented in a calm and intelligent manner. No squabbling like children and interrupting each other. We have the whole night, so there's plenty of time to work this out."

.

In the end, after multiple appeals and insults to Tony's intelligence, Loki got her way. She was so convincing, a week later the three sat down for another discuss about Pepper also having a baby.


End file.
